Brutal Honesty

19 10 2013

What does it mean to be Brutally Honest? If you ask were to ask a teenager he may tell you brutal honesty is cutting or mean. Something that hurts or that is witty or sarcastic I believe that for you and I Brutal should mean cutting, perhaps even deep. Let me give you an example.

On my way to work in the mornings I often stop at a local gas station/fast food grill that makes breakfast sandwiches and burritos I really enjoy getting a cherry Pepsi, and a bacon burrito, it costs $4.63. My wife and I have an open spending policy it goes like this, we are allowed to spend money whenever we want to, but we tell each other, no hidden transaction.

So what do no hidden transactions and a $4.63 breakfast have to do with brutal honesty? Many mornings although there is no problem with me purchasing my burrito I know she thinks its funny (she wouldn’t eat a burrito from a gas station grill, even though it is delicious… one of my vices in this life.)  So here is how it goes instead of telling her about my consumption of the said burrito; regularly my choice is to put off discussing it with her, then I will tell her, every few weeks, or monthly. So, I was justified, Right? I mean I was being honest? Wasn’t I? I would tell her. Of course if there was something valiant I did like warding off the advances of a mob of attractive women or anything courageous I am sure to tell her as soon as I see her. Why then does it take so long to tell her when I am not so noble? So here is my resolution – which I have been following for 3 weeks already, I will be brutally honest. Every time I feel that little twinge of panic like I want to run and hide from something I will push deeper (that is the brutal part) and I will be honest. I love how  Mark Twain put it “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” ~Mark Twain that is who I will be.

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Its Time

5 10 2013

Are you like me? Do you find yourself constantly annoyed at the timing in life, ok maybe not constantly, but frequently enough to note that sometimes timing in life just doesn’t seem fair, or right? We could give many examples of this there are those were you go through a sickness or pain, you lose a loved one right when you need them the most. Like when I lost my Mom a few days after Christmas a few years ago… Even though I was an Adult I still (to this day) need her advice.

Then on the other hand there is the almost ironic timing like the universe has some sort of sense of humor and is enjoying a good laugh… at your expense. You are expecting a bonus or some other large sum of money, and right as you get it your world falls apart to consume it all. My world has fallen apart many different times and many different ways so this is more of a pick your flavor, car problems (like engine blowing up), Furnace going out, recently my 2 year old home had to have its AC replaced.

On top of all of this there are the day to day needs that creep in I have 4 children add in any issues my wife has and then compound all of those with my issues and you have a royal mess. Mixed in with all of this right in the middle is time. You wish you could stop it, reverse it, slow it, and speed it up. But you can’t. However, I like the perspective on time that Malcom Muggeridge brings for us “There is Time and there is Eternity. Because we are creatures of Time, what happens from moment to moment, from century to century, seems of crucial importance; because we are creatures of Eternity these happenings seem as unsubstantial as white clouds drifting across a summer sky.”  So often all I ever focus on is the here and now I forget that I believe… I know because of the thoughts, the feelings, the experiences I have had in my life, that there is a God, there is Eternity. We are all Eternal beings as such we don’t belong to time, that is why it can feel so foreign to us. It also means that we can overcome our struggles with time and learn to master it, rather than letting it rule our lives.





Be Happy

28 05 2010

I came across another quote that I think hits on a major part of “Growing Up”

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” ~Frederick Keonig

During our journey of growing up we often forget the fact that everything that impacts our life is up to us individually. I like this quote because we or at least I often look to outside forces to decide my success. I like to wander through life thinking the next task I set out on will be what makes me happy, forgetting what I already have, and what I have already accomplished. So the question for today is what do you already have in your life that makes you happy? Thanks for sharing your comments.





Know thyself?

18 05 2010

Recently I came across this quote:

 “Know thyself?”  If I knew myself, I’d run away.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 As I read over it a few times trying to understand the true meaning I realized that this simple, funny statement has great depth. Most of us run away from who we truly are. We each spend years building walls hiding secrets or conforming to persona’s that don’t match with our inner beings. So my question of the day is: What would happen if instead of running you opened up and truly got to know yourself? I look forward to any comments.





Everyone please get naked.

27 02 2010

            With my New Year’s Resolutions beginning to be a distant memory I have been reviewing my life goals and how well I am doing towards achieving them. After I got done feeling sorry for myself I asked this important question: “John, what is holding you back?” Have you ever asked yourself this and honestly answered back? I found that my problem, the problem most people have; or what has been holding me back stopping me from achieving my dreams, my goals, being the person I know I am or feel I should be. I have been carrying around too much baggage putting layer on layers of thoughts, self-doubt, laziness, value in what others think of me (or what I worry they are thinking of me), and measuring myself against others. The problem is I am so weighed down emotionally with all the layers of thoughts I have been choosing to carry around making no way for me to succeed.

To be able to succeed we each most free ourselves from the limits we impose on ourselves every day. We must decide “Today I am going to be.” By deciding to “be” we are striping all the layers who what we are trying to be and getting naked or letting our true self-come out. Only when we become at peace with who we are deep at our core can we affect change and become what we desire. Each of us has supreme unlimited potential the problem is we waste all of our energy and time trying to be something that is at conflict with our central core.

             So who’s ready to get naked with me?





Lasting Change

1 01 2010

There are events in each of our lives that take us by surprise and remind us that certain elements are out of our control. These experiences have a way of putting everything in perspective – at least for a moment. Maybe I am different than everyone else, but when these moments hit me everything else that seemed so important, such as what health care bill the US senate is going to pass, or who is President, or if the US should be at War, or not; even conflicts with my neighbors such as whose leafs are on whose lawn. All of these life encompassing events fade away and I find myself feeling as though I am standing alone in a room void of everything except this one event and the emotions I associate with it.

As I ponder this post I am waiting to hear the outcome of my father’s triple bypass heart surgery. I realize that although I always looked at my father as invincible; my days with him are numbered, and to my horror I have no way of knowing what that number may be. I remember when the last man I held close to heart lost his battle to cancer, when I knew he would pull through it… or I refused to accept how sick he was.

When we face these events, such as losing someone dear to us; have the power to stop everything else in our world and cause us to hold our loved ones a little closer and evaluate the purpose of our lives. I believe through these events each of us become a little bit better of a person; we stop arguing brother against brother. Sadly though the bitter sting soon wears off and we go back to hating, fighting, arguing, and being consumed with matters that have no impact on our lives.

This leaves to question what if, what if we could remember the bitter sting, what if we could remember our love and compassion for our fellowman? What would it take to create this last change in each of us?

I look forward to your comments. Thanks!





Human Tragedy

11 08 2009

I think the greatest tragedy of human life is when we give up on ourselves before we have a chance for Greatness. You see, when we were young we all had goals. We all had dreams of being someone; maybe a Superhero, a Policeman, a Doctor, or even a Fireman. Then, as we grew older we changed. We let go of the dream of helping each other, or of achieving something unique. We resign our lives to paying the bills, figuring out how to keep food on the table, and just getting by.